When Bridesmaids Don’t Play Nice

There are going to be friends in your life, who you love dearly, but who would not have much in common outside of their friendships with you.  That is part of life.  In most cases, those differing opinions, and mix-matched personalities can play nice for the sake of a wedding, which, after all, generally means only a handful of days in each other’s company.  But, sometimes it is not so much a case of indifference to one another as it is a deep-seeded dislike of each other.  When you have two friends who really don’t get along – whether there is a good reason for the hard feelings, or not – it can put you in an awkward position, especially if you have your heart set on having both stand at your side during the wedding ceremony.

It says a great deal about you that you are not tempted to take sides in an ongoing battle, and that you can maintain friendships with two people who are so very different.  That being said, you have to really take stock of the situation and make sure that your desire to have them in the wedding is more important than preventing unnecessary aggravation during your celebrations.

If you are determined to have them both as part of the bridal party, then keep in mind these helpful hints to diffuse a potentially heated situation.

Don’t Give Either the Upper Hand Choose someone else, not prone to arguing with fellow bridesmaids, to act as the maid of honor.  You don’t want to award that title to either of the battling friends, as it could cause a sort of power struggle.  Besides which, you maid of honor can become a line of defense, stepping in when frustrations mount.

Do Not Encourage Unfriendly Behavior While you always want to offer an ear when your friends need to vent, this is not the time to field complaints from one about the other.  Be sure to close down that line of communication, and remind your friends that this is your big day, which you so wanted them to be a part of.

Be True to You If the problems escalate in advance of the wedding, remember that this is your wedding and your day to enjoy.  There may come a time when you ultimately have to ask them to step down from the role of bridesmaid.  They’ll either sign a temporary peace treaty, or you can replace them with a friend or relative who is more eager to partake in the positive celebration.