Writing Your Vows, Skipping the Stress

If we can give one piece of advice to the couples who want to write their own vows, it is that they should not wait until the last minute.  All too often, brides and grooms are stressed and scrambling in the days and hours leading up to the wedding, trying to organize their thoughts into a few meaningful words.

Instead of waiting so long, start now, at the beginning of the planning process (or as close to it as you happen to be at the moment). That doesn’t mean that you have to have the vows written six months in advance, but using the time leading up to the wedding to jot down notes, or to keep a journal, can certainly make the final writing much easier.  Be sure to make note of those special moments that made you feel as though your heart would burst.  Those will serve as the inspiration later.

Don’t let this process stress you out.  Remember, the saying of the vows is simply meant to be a time to profess your love.  It is not a competition, nor do those words have to sound like anything that was ever uttered before.  You might work a sense of humor into them, if that is something important in your relationship.  You may choose not to use a microphone while saying them, if you would rather keep those words private between you and your soon-to-be-spouse.  Have a conversation who that person, if you are concerned about the speaking of the vows.  Perhaps you don’t need to speak them at all.  There is nothing wrong with saying the traditional vows, and writing letters to each other to be read before- or after the ceremony, if there is something more meaningful that you want to express.

If you are bound and determined to make this a part of your ceremony, but you are feeling at a lack of inspiration, consider making your vows a list as opposed to a speech.  Instead of getting caught up in flowery prose, instead make a list of the things that you love about that someone special or a list of the most special moments in your relationship, and read that instead.